"Drive me closer! I want to hit them with my sword!"

This article, Salem VI, is a non-canonical humor article for entertainment purposes. It is not to be taken seriously, and does not need to follow any storyline in particular.

Logo Blood Ravens This article, Salem VI, was written by Sentinel 72. Please do not edit or 'acquire' this fiction without the writer's permission.
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"The Blandest Planet in the Galaxy"
―Official description of the planet in Imperium records
Salem VI
Astrographical Information

Masa System


Chusets Sector


Segmentum Tempestus

Orbital period

400 days

Rotational period

36 hours





Physical Information
World type






Societal, Political, & Chronological Information
Sapient inhabitants

Humans, Animals, Plants, Necrons


12 billion people


Imperium of Man, 777th Salem Wizards, College of Mechanics


Active, Functional

Date settled

28th Millennium


Salem VI is an agri-world colonized in the 28th of millennium by the colony ship Falgand dating back to the Age of Terra. It was once a Tomb World of the Dreieck Dynasty until the Necron Lord of said dynasty, Ramses the Bored One, retreated deep into the mountains once they peacefully negotiated with their new neighbors. Using the skill they learned and the technology provided by the colony ship, they quickly expanded and grew to become one of the largest food producers in the system. They were first discovered by the Imperium during the Age of Redemption by Rogue Traders which by that point the Masa System has created a little empire of it's own and has technology superior than the Imperium. Today Salem VI produces lots and lots of fruits and vegetables as well as meat for the Imperial Guard to eat during break time.

History Edit

War in the Heavens Edit

Millions of years ago the Necrons waged war against the Old Ones and the various races they created. This war is called the War in the Heavens by the Eldar. The Necrons are split into various dynasties that rules one or more than one celestial bodies in space. There were three ruling Dynasties in the Chusets Sector: Kotak, Dreieck, and Dayira. These three dynasties were enemies against each other due to their territorial nature until the Kotak and Dreieck allied themselves to take over the Merimak River in Dayira's capital planet: Primut. After multiple losses, Dayira was defeated and their capital planet conquered by the alliance. Both Kotak and Dreieck agreed to share the rivers together and it seems like peace has finally come... until the Kotaks kidnapped the Princess of Dreieck.

Angered, the Dreieck waged war against their old allies and after successfully rescuing the Princess, escaped from Primut and hid in Salem VI. News of the defeat of the C'tans reached the Dreiecks soon after and like all dynasties, they were told to sleep for millions of years and of course, they all agreed and they slept for the years to come... except for one. The Necron Lord of Dreieck, Ramses the Bored One accidentally set the stasis time to 1 year and when he tried to return to sleep again, the alarm broke down. So he had to spend 59,999,999 years completely awake and completely bored on the barren desert planet.

Falgand Exploration Edit

During the 3rd millennium, humanity has finally figured out whether the moon landing was real or fake. After colonizing Mars and Europa, the United Space Exploration Administration proposed the creation of colony ships that will be sent to nearby star systems and will hopefully colonize them in thousands of years to come. Receiving overwhelmingly positive responses, the USEA created a fleet of colony ships to colonize the stars. One of them is the Falgand, a ship carrying frozen colonists and DNA of plants and animals to their destination: Alpha Centauri. The ship is under the control of the AI on-board nicknamed Sleeper due to its laggy interface.

Life in the ship merely consists of cryo sleep and under the recount of Sleeper itself, "is boring as hell". Sleeper also manages the ship's cargo as well as the cryo pods. At some point Sleeper accidentally deleted the USEA Command's contact thus cutting off the only connection between the ship and the humans outside of the ship. Fortunately the internet still works, which would become important later on.

A few years later, the ship encountered a warp gate and went inside it. The Warp Gate lead the Falgand into a barren desert planet filled with black structures. Curious, Sleeper attempted to land near the entrance of a cavern but the ship's engine struck a monolith, causing it to crash land. This landing marks the first time since god knows how many years Ramses has made an emotion beyond boredom, sadness, and anger because he's actually startled by the sudden quake that struck his quarters.

The Bonesworks Treaty and Pre-Discovery Edit

It took Sleeper a few thousand years to regain consciousness (if such terms could apply to AIs) and was shocked at the sight of Ramses in front of it. After several hours of discussion, Ramses was intrigued in seeing and communicating with humans since he has spent so many years talking to rocks and Tomb Spyders. Sleeper does what it's asked to do despite only knowing Ramses for a few hours. The first human to awaken from stasis was John Connor Smith, a politician and botanist followed by a couple of hundreds more. John Smith managed to talk with Ramses without getting killed, thus making him the first human to successfully communicate with a Necron. John then negotiated on behalf of the crew to allow them to grow their crops on their territory. Having no other options at this point and simply to amuse himself, Ramses agrees under the agreement that future prisoners should be sent to the Tomb for unknown reasons. The Bonesworks Treaty was then signed by the two races and farming began soon afterwards.


Using the surviving DNA carried by the Falgand, the colonists successfully grows batches of plants and breeds animals that were previously extinct on Earth (now Terra). Humanity quickly grows on the now crop filled planet and seeing that he can finally retire, Ramses retreats back into the mountains and tells the story of humanity to his warriors (he killed all of his advisers because they were dicks). To avoid overpopulation, the Chancellor of Salem VI devised a plan to use the shuttles on the Falgand to travel to the planets of the Masa System which worked quite well. After establishing communications with one another, humanity on the Masa System thrived and spends their time in peace... until.

Discovery by the Imperium Edit

A Rogue Trader under the name Roger Contat discovered the fledgling empire and does some business with them while introducing to them the Imperium of Man. Since the very start, both human governments became bitter allies: The Imperium absolutely hates how they do not worship the Emperor and is busy having fun while millions of humans are dying (which is the Imperium's fault to begin with) while the Masa Union absolutely despises the low living standards of the Imperium and how easy they make enemies. Even so, the Imperium doesn't want to invade the Masa System because they're great business partners. The Mechanicus is the only other human faction that the Masa actively co-operates with due to their shared interest in lost technology. Salem VI, being a primary producer of various food products, is one of the main reasons why the Imperium keeps holding the thin line of business with the Masa Union.

Food Production Edit

Salem VI is an agri-world and are economically reliant on food trades. In fact, 80% of the population are farmers. Over 45% of the farmers are animal farmers while the rest are either plant farmers or gold farmers on World of WAAAGH!!!craft. Spices are the main source of living for those living in the Tropical Zone as the spices can be produced in massive numbers and is modified to be the best spice in the galaxy. Other plant productions includes tomatoes, bananas, carrots, potatoes, etc. The Salem Beef is considered to be the best meat to ever touch the plates of the royals while the Masa chicken, although not as tasty, is a main stay in the Imperial Guard's menu. The majority of the Masa System prefers pork over the others although fish is quite popular among the younger generations.

Society Edit

The populace of Salem VI is notoriously monotonous and is doomed to be forever stuck on the jobs they've been doing for generations. As such, most farmers will have kids that will forever be a farmer and the cycle goes on until something happens. Even the politicians are monotonous, doing the same thing over and over again every single day. This does not mean that the world can't react to sudden changes however, for they rapidly react and adapt to the sudden changes quite well. The average family would have 2-3 children as having more than 3 is considered a taboo by the populace unless the 4th child was adopted by legal law. Joining the Masa Military Force is considered an achievement, especially the 777th Salem Wizards Regiment.

Planetary Defense Edit

Salem VI is the home of the humans and the Necrons. Disturb one of them and they'll bite back. Let's start with the humans.

Salem United Forces Edit

While not as powerful as the other Forces (Masa Union's equivalent of the PDF), the Salem United Forces excels in aerial assault, using paratroopers and aircraft to travel quickly without causing damage to the crops. They have a strict rule against the use of CBRNF (Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear, and Fire) weapons due to their world being an agri-world. Recently the SUF have been foiling Dark Eldar raids on their planet with extreme prejudice.

777th Salem Wizards Regiment Edit

Do not let the name fool you, the Salem Wizards does not have psykers in it. The regiment focuses on using artillery to the max, having some of the best artillery systems known to mankind (in Masa at least). Most of the time the 777th is sent to co-operate with Imperium forces so the defense of their homeworld mostly relies on the SUF.

Dreieck Dynasty Edit

Led by Ramses the Bored One, the Dreieck Dynasty has fought the Eldar, the Orks, and themselves numerous times in the past. While most of them are still on stasis, their battle experience is enough to make a difference. They also have a Tomb Stalker but they're too lazy to awaken it.

Notable Places Edit

  • Plain Plains: A large empty land used by the Salem United Forces and the 777th Salem Wizards for training.
  • Triangle Mountain: The main headquarters of the Dreieck Dynasty.
    • Falgand: The colony ship that brought the colonists is still stuck outside of the entrance. Sleeper is still there.
  • Space Elevator Salem-Lairt: The Space Elevator connecting Salem and its moon Lairt is highly important due to the planet relying on the moon's waters for agriculture.

Notable People Edit

  • General-Commissar Seth Warden: The leader of the 777th Salem Wizards Regiment hails here. His doctrine of heavy artillery usage is something mankind can always rely on. Also one of the leaders of the Masa Stormtroopers.

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